BFF's

So, I'm going to blame my parents, mostly my father, for the fact that I have never had any BFF's. Not when it mattered most anyways.

We moved a lot. No, not a military family, but just as bad.

My father worked in aerospace. I had no idea what that was at the time. But in my early years, he worked for a handfull of different companies.

When I was 4, I assume 4 because I was in Preschool at the time, we moved from my neighborhood to a city almost four hundred miles away, for what I presume to be my fathers job, relocating him. I don't know for sure, I was too young and I haven't asked the reason, but I assume it was a relocation.

So there we are, in a new town, new house, new school, new neighbors.

Once we were settled, I took my favorite baby doll down the street to greet another new settler. Cheri was her name, and she had dolls too, but she favored horses. Plastic horses with legs bent in weird positions that were no fun at all. Except for their long stringy tails.

We played together day in and day out, I learned much about her. She was an only child and spoke to her parents with a wicked little tongue. I couldn't understand how somebody could talk to their parents the way she did. And she used the F word a lot. Either way, she had a great inventory of toys and dolls. And that dollhouse.

Next thing I know, we were moving again.

It had been two years, my kindergarten and first grade years, since I walked down that hill to introduce myself. I knew Cheri was somebody I'd miss, and I'd make it a point to stay in contact with her. I was aware even at the age of 6 that this was somebody I enjoyed and didn't want to lose.

She wasn't home the day I went to say goodbye. I sat on her couch with her mother, waiting. She never came home. So I left. I promised her mother that I'd write.

So there I am, first grade just ended and I'm headed to a new city. It seemed like a days drive, but it was only 20 miles South.

There we were, in another town-home. This time I had a handful of children to befriend, from all over the world, I didn't know who to run to first.

I met Dao and Hai, first. They lived the closest, and had very mean parents. Parents that chased them out of the house if they even came home for a drink, or to use the restroom. Those kids had fear in their eyes at the mention of their parents.

I made my first "colored" friends, as my nanny would call them. Two little girls, sisters. One was named Camille, I don't recall the other. I remember Camille because she'd run around the track sidewalk singing Boy George's Karma Chameleon till her throat went sore.

The neighborhood was infested with huge, fat, furry caterpillars. They were dark brown, and when you stepped on them they oozed green guts. I started collecting these caterpillars, making homes for them in shoe boxes filled with leaves and twigs. My brother would torture me with threats of squashing them. They'd soon be replaced with snails which didn't escape as quickly as the caterpillars did.

One day, swinging on the tire swing, dangerously high above the bark lined playground, I met a girl named Valerie. Freckles all over the place, and kinky, curly brown hair. She looked like Strawberry Shortcake with a perm. Maybe that's what attracted me to her, I loved Strawberry Shortcake.

Valerie took me home to meet her brothers and sisters. Diedre was her older sister, my age I learned. Valerie was the 2nd child, a year younger than I. Jonathon a.k.a John Boy. He was diabetic but didn't let that stop him from following the ice cream truck around the neighborhood or smuggling Snickers bars in his pockets was next. Next came little Patrick and then 5 year old April.

Their mother was a stay at home mom, their father was never home. The few times he was at home, if he'd had a few beers he'd pull out his guitar and sing "my ding-a-ling" to us kids.

Sonia and Sofia came next. They lived out of the park, down the street in a track home, along with their brother, Tyrone.

The one thing I remember about them was the stash of chewed bubblegum they stored in the egg compartment of their fridge. If we wanted some bubble gum we would simply thaw a piece out under running water, and pop it back in their mouth for more chewing, regardless of who previously chewed it. Blue gum, red gum, green gum, you name it. They had it. The longer you thawed it, the more flavor actually came back.

Again, the time came for me to move. Second and third and fourth grades had passed, and we were off. I was 9 years old, heading to a new city, to make more new friends, and leave more friends behind.

I hadn't seen Cheri but once or twice since moving away from her, I had a feeling I wouldn't see these friends again, ever.

The day my parents packed the U-haul truck, I sat in the grass with Sofia. Sonia, Valerie and Deidre weren't talking to me, Sofia told me it was because they were mad at me for leaving them. So I didn't get to say goodbye to them, or gather contact information.

Back down South, 400 miles...back to where we started. I'd gone through Kindergarten, first, second, third and fourth grades, only to return to point A, to make new friends.

We moved in to my grandmothers house for a short while, until we found our next home. I'd start Fifth grade temporarily in my grandmothers neighborhood. I think I've mentioned "Emily" in a previous post. Yea, that was fun.

Thinking back, I don't think it was a relocation that had us move from Northern to Southern Cal. Given the amount of time we lived with my grandmother I can only assume my father was job hunting.

Finally, we found a house, not a town house, a house. With a yard. And a driveway. Having neighbors on each side, the promise of new friends was in the air.

The second week of fifth grade brought a new school, and new faces. By the end of 6th grade, I'd made a slew of friends, yet none would be my BFF. They already had their BFF's. Friends they'd made in their early years. Junior High brought much of the same. High school also.

BFF's are formed in the early years, I think. When we're blind to the faults and disadvantages of our playmates, before we become judgemental and suspicious. Before we even know the definition of jealousy.

I'll later touch on the moments spent with each of these people that made them memorable in the first place.